Diagnosis

I would've started this blog sooner, but I just never got around to it.

That was a joke. Mostly.

After an appointments with the Vancouver ADHD clinic, the doctor decided to get a second opinion, after which three psychiatrists/psychologists came to the diagnosis that I have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and Asperger's Syndrome.

Either ADHD is either over-diagnosed or widespread, as getting in to see a doctor was a long and drawn-out process. I was asked to fill out a questionaire and have a family member also fill one out. Eight months went by before an appointment was scheduled. It will be another month until I can get my third appointment.

From various sources, here are typical symptoms...

ADHD
-Tendencies to have difficulties getting work done and staying focused (check: you should see my apartment)
-Afternoon drowsiness (check: while post-lunchtime snooze is common, this is usually typical with a large meal)
-Inability to sit still (sorta: this depends on what I'm doing)
-Difficulty on focusing in tedious tasks (check)
-Impulsive behaviour (check)

Asperger's Syndrome
-Impaired social conditioning (check)
-Inability to read people, body language (check: childhood was marked with incessant bullying due to not fitting in, regardless of how I treated the people around me)
-Obsessive routines (check: I'm an internet addict and I will repeatedly reread things that I've written or already read)
-Physical clumsiness (check: mostly in childhood)

This explains a lot, actually. I have issues with self-esteem that I'm working on fixing, and as much as I realize the satisfaction of solving them on my own, I might not be able to. Hence, I made the point of seeking the help of a third, and professional, party.

Social impairment has been something I have struggled with for years. Despite being on paper what women are looking for (described as a nice guy with fairly decent looks, 5% body fat, no body hair, well-educated and cultured, treats women with respect, knows how to cook, doesn't live at home with mom), I managed to remain single and sexually inexperienced for all of my 29 years. I can't get people to stop picking on me and I cave too easily. I hate myself and overcompensate around members of the opposite sex by trying too hard, with predictable results. Why love someone who can't even love himself?

The doctors suggested that since I match the DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) of both disorders, some symptoms of AS can be coped with (but not cured) with treatment of ADHD.

I've mostly set up this blog as a means of tracking my progress and possibly connect with other people who are going through the same thing. Given the amount of time it takes for me to get an appointment, I know I'm not alone.

To be continued...